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Reductress Headline Magnets

Buy four, get the fifth free.

"'I Want to Be a Farmer,' Says Woman Who Wants a Long Weekend Near Grass" Magnet

"Woman With Mansion Owes Everything to 6th Grade Game of MASH" Magnet

"Woman Who Filled Void With Baby Misses Void" Magnet

"'Ugh, Typical Straight White Man,' Says Typical Straight White Woman" Magnet

"Goals! Woman Replaced the Anxiety of Not Having Boundaries With the Guilt of Having Boundaries" Magnet

"Wow! This One-Ingredient Brownie is Just Weed" Magnet

"White Guy Never Thought of It That Way" Magnet

"How to Eat Mindfully By Pretending You're That One Mouse With His Cracker From 'The Aristocats'" Magnet

"'I'm a Nice Guy!' Screams Man" Magnet

"How to Stop Slouching by Just Lying All the Way Down" Magnet

"Child Labor? Boss Asking You to Do Work Even Though You're Only 26" Magnet

"Woman Recklessly Blows Entire Paycheck on Rent Again" Magnet

"REPORT: I've Had It" Magnet

"Nice! This Woman’s Inferiority and Superiority Complexes Basically Cancel Each Other Out" Magnet

"Therapist Professionally Shit-Talking Person Who Wronged You Worth Every Penny" Magnet

"Woman Artfully Namedrops Headache to Set Scene for Canceling Plans Tonight" Magnet

"Inspiring! This Woman Listened to Five Hours of Advice and Then Did What She Was Gonna Do in the First Place" Magnet

"Tyrant? This Man Became The Mayor of Flavortown Without Ever Holding a Fair Election" Magnet

"Wow! Man Being Ironically Sexist Is Also Normal Sexist" Magnet

"Get Him to Notice You by Being a Small Clump of Cells in a Uterus" Magnet

"‘Okay,’ Says Woman For No Reason Every 30 Minutes While Alone In Her Apartment" Magnet

"Aww! These Businessmen Came to an Agreement So They Held Hands For a Bit" Magnet

"Woman Spends Entire Concert Worrying if Friends She Invited Are Having a Good Time" Magnet

"Brave! This Woman Embraces Her Masculine Side by Not Helping Clean Up After Dinner" Magnet

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